


black cat magic

by givebackmylifecas



Series: berlin the cat [2]
Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Everybody Lives, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Post-Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27305650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givebackmylifecas/pseuds/givebackmylifecas
Summary: “Okay, so, costume number one,” Andrés announces, as he emerges from the bedroom with Berlin. “A pumpkin.”Martín sighs when he sees his cat is indeed wearing a pumpkin costume, complete with a little hat with a green felt stem.A Halloween ficlet featuring Berlermo, Berlin the cat, Paula, and the gang trying to do Halloween!
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: berlin the cat [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993444
Comments: 16
Kudos: 57





	black cat magic

**Author's Note:**

> this is sort of a follow on to 'solid gold (how can we miss)' but you don't have to have read it to read this.
> 
> TWs: mention of fake blood and body parts

Martín’s heart is misshapen, lumpy, and smaller than he expected. He holds it out, carefully cupped in both hands, and shows it to Andrés. The other man frowns, looking up from his newspaper and his lip curls disdainfully.

“You’re dripping all over my rug.”

Martín looks down and sees red seeping between his fingers, tiny droplets falling and landing on Andrés’ white rug, which they will undoubtedly stain.

“Forget about the rug, what do you think?” Martín asks, ignoring how Andrés is eyeing the food-colouring still dripping down his hands.

Andrés sighs. “It’s very realistic, mi amor.”

Martín turns to Paula who is holding her own gelatine heart, giggling as she gently tosses it from one hand to the other. He puts his heart back in the bowl and wipes his hands on a dishcloth.

“What do you think, princesa? Is this what you wanted?” he asks her and she nods.

“Yes! They’re perfect. Thank you, Tío Martín,” she says with a smile and he passes her the towel.

Once she’s dried her hands, Martín helps her off the kitchen island and she hurries over to the table where Andrés is guarding the snacks for that night. He seems absorbed in his paper, but Martín sees his eyes flick over to Paula when she steals a ghost biscuit off the plate. His lips quirk and Martín shakes his head when Andrés glances over at him.

“I saw that,” Andrés says.

Paula giggles guiltily. “Tío Martín said it was okay.”

“Did he now?” Andrés asks, folding up his paper. “And how exactly did he communicate this to you without speaking?”

Paula shrugs already tucking into the biscuit, completely unphased by Andrés’ disapproval.

“It’s fine, just don’t tell your mother,” Martín says.

“I won’t,” she promises seriously and then let’s out a joyous shriek when she hears the distinctive snick of the cat-flap opening and closing. “Berlin!”

Martín turns and sees that Berlin has indeed just come strolling into the kitchen looking entirely too smug. His bowtie (orange today, with little black bats on it) is askew and Andrés tuts when he sees it.

Paula drops to her knees, tapping her fingers against the floor to encourage him to come to her – which he does, once he’s finished winding himself around Martín’s legs. She straightens his bowtie and then rubs his ears. Berlin purrs his satisfaction.

“Princesa, you need to be heading home now,” Martín reminds her. “You need to get yourself ready for the party.”

She pouts just a little, still focussed on Berlin.

“What about your costume? Aren’t you excited to put it on?” Andrés prompts and suddenly Berlin is forgotten and Paula is heading for the door.

“See you later, tíos! You’re going to love my costume!” she calls as she runs out of the house.

Martín shakes his head bemusedly and flops onto the sofa. Andrés joins him a moment later, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Berlin, come here,” Martín says, clicking his tongue and his cat carefully picks his way across the carpet and jumps up onto Martín’s lap. “Good boy.”

Andrés settles a hand on Berlin’s head and starts stroking him. “Speaking of costumes, have you thought about when you want to put the costume on Berlin for this afternoon?”

“What? He’s got his little Halloween bowtie, isn’t that his costume?” Martín asks with a frown and Andrés scoffs.

“That’s not a costume,” he says and Martín eyes him suspiciously.

“Andrés, are you saying you bought him a costume?”

“I didn’t buy him a costume.”

“You bought more than one, didn’t you?”

* * *

“Okay, so, costume number one,” Andrés announces, as he emerges from the bedroom with Berlin. “A pumpkin.”

Martín sighs when he sees his cat is indeed wearing a pumpkin costume, complete with a little hat with a green felt stem.

“I’m not sure, it’s kind of bulky, he won’t be able to fit through the cat flap,” he says and Andrés nods.

“True, we’ll try the next one,” he agrees. “Come on, Berlin.”

Martín pinches the bridge of his nose as he watches his partner disappear back into the bedroom, his pumpkin-cat following at a trot.

“No,” he says decisively when Andrés returns with Berlin in his arms. “You’re not dressing my cat up as a dog. Look at him, he hates it.”

Unfortunately, Berlin doesn’t actually look very upset at the floppy ears Andrés has put him in, and yawns, rubbing his head against Andrés’ chin. Andrés throws Martín a pointed look.

“Still, no, Andrés.”

The next time Andrés walks out with Berlin, the cat is dressed in a red jumpsuit.

“A little on the nose, isn’t it?” Martín asks and Andrés smirks.

“He’s dressed like his papás.”

Berlin wriggles and Martín shakes his head. “No, let’s not make everyone relive their time in the bank.”

“Fine,” Andrés says and if anyone else had that expression on their face, Martín would say they’re pouting. “But this next one is my personal favourite, so don’t be rude.”

Andrés carries Berlin back into the bedroom and Martín braces himself for the fresh hell that he’ll be facing when they return.

“Martín, are you ready?” Andrés calls a few minutes later and Martín sighs.

“No, just show me!” he replies.

Andrés walks into the living room, Berlin held out in front of him and Martín has to fight back a smile. Andrés has dressed him in black bat wings that blend in seamlessly with his dark fur.

“Berlin, look at you, you look so handsome!” he says and ignores how smugly Andrés is smiling.

He holds out his hands and Andrés passes him his cat, who looks vaguely bemused by the attention, but is happy to be in Martín’s arms anyway.

“You like it then?” Andrés asks as if he doesn’t already know the answer.

Martín rolls his eyes. “You know I do.”

Berlin, now on his back, swipes at Martín’s hand when it ventures a little too close to his stomach. Martín pulls his fingers back and settles for stroking underneath his chin.

“Who knew the way to get your papá to agree to a costume was to get one that will match his?” Andrés asks, ostensibly talking to Berlin, but he’s looking at Martín with a wicked grin and he definitely deserves the hard pinch to his side.

“Speaking of which, what are you wearing later?” Martín asks. “You’ve been suspiciously tight-lipped about it.”

Andrés rolls his eyes. “That’s because I knew you were going to try and force me to do something else. I’m going as James Bond.”

“So you’re just going to wear a suit and carry a gun? That’s boring – and what you do every day.”

“This is why I didn’t tell you,” Andrés says. “But if it helps, I was going to wear that Tom Ford suit you like.”

Martín puts Berlin down and steps towards Andrés, a lascivious smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “The grey one?”

“The grey one,” Andrés confirms, dragging Martín into a kiss.

Martín leans into it, enjoying the feeling of Andrés’ hands splayed across his hips, when they’re suddenly interrupted by a plaintive yowl. He pulls away from Andrés who grumbles, but lets him go so he can check on Berlin.

He finds his cat in the kitchen, staring pointedly at his empty food bowl and Martín laughs when he meows again.

“Yes, yes, you poor neglected child. How can you stand to live with such cruel people?” he asks and fetches a fresh tin of food.

“I can’t believe you abandoned me for your cat again,” Andrés calls from the living room.

Martín smirks, as he scrapes the food out of the can. “I can’t believe you still don’t understand that he comes first. Always.”

“Oh I do,” Andrés says, walking into the kitchen. “But I can still complain about it.”

“Are you feeling neglected too?” Martín teases, putting the can in the bin, before turning towards Andrés.

“Maybe a little,” is the response he gets.

He shakes his head. “Well, what’s to be done about that?”

Andrés grabs his hand and starts dragging him towards the bedroom “Well, I have plenty of ideas and we have two and a half hours until the party starts.”

“I like the way you think,” Martín laughs, following him.

* * *

“How’s my favourite little feline?” Helsinki asks, cooing at Berlin who is curled in Martín’s arms.

Andrés appears beside them, having returned from the kitchen with drinks for himself and Martín, and shakes his head. “He’s not a cat, Helsinki. Today he’s a bat.”

They’re stood in Raquel and Sergio’s house which has been decorated within an inch of its life. There are orange and black streamers hanging from the ceiling, pumpkins and jars of fake organs on every available surface and an obscene amount of Halloween themed food piled on the dining table.

Tokyo scoffs from where she’s sat next to an inflatable gravestone. “I still can’t believe Palermo coordinated his costume with his cat.”

“I picked out Berlin’s costume,” Andrés says, distastefully eyeing the tight red dress Tokyo is wearing with a pair of devil’s horns.

“You picked out a costume for the cat, but you couldn’t be bothered to wear one yourself?” Denver asks around a large pumpkin-shaped cupcake.

“I’m James Bond,” Andrés replies, adjusting his shirt cuffs. “And who are you supposed to be? A stripper with a day job?”

“A vampire, obviously,” Denver say, looking down at himself.

“No,” Andrés says immediately. “Martín is a vampire.” He gestures at Martín’s classic Dracula outfit. “You’re wearing gold contacts and are covered in glitter.”

Denver flushes as the rest of the room breaks into laughter. “It’s from Twilight! Mónica is really into the films at the moment.”

“It’s like food cravings, but with films,” Stockholm calls from the cobweb-covered sofa, cradling her baby bump.

Martín is about to tell her that being pregnant isn’t a good enough reason to douse your partner in glitter, when Paula comes running in. She’s followed by Sergio who looks entirely overwhelmed even through the thick layer of zombie make-up Raquel caked him in.

“Tío Martín!” Paula yells and he just about manages to hand Berlin to Andrés before she flings herself into his arms.

He lifts her up and she wraps her legs around his waist. “Hello princesa, are you having fun?”

“I’m not a princess!” she insists loudly and Martín nods seriously. “I’m an owl!”

“Of course, I’m so sorry,” he agrees, smoothing some of the feathers on her costume. “And you make a very lovely owl.”

“I know,” she says with the self-confidence that only a child has.

Raquel laughs from across the room and Paula wiggles until he puts her down so she can go bouncing across the room to her mother and Cincinnati, who is dressed in a full Spiderman costume, complete with fake muscles.

“Where’s Berlin?” he asks, when he turns back to Andrés.

“He went outside.”

“Lucky him,” Martín says wrinkling his nose at Tokyo and Rio who are now in the middle of the room, doing what he’s rather charitably going to call dancing.

Andrés smirks. “Do you want to get out of here? Paula is so hopped up on sugar, she’s not going to notice if you’re gone.”

“Yes please,” Martín says. “This costume is itchy as hell.”

He pulls at the collar of his shirt, not missing how Andrés’ eyes track his movements.

“That's what you get for wearing polyester, but I’m sure I can help with that.”

“Get a room,” Helsinki says with a laugh from beside them.

“Yes,” Andrés agrees, looking at Martín. “Let’s.”

* * *

When they get back to their house, Andrés helps Martín out of his shirt and then cups his face, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

“Good day?” he asks against Martín’s lips as they shuffle towards the bedroom.

Martín nods and pushes Andrés’ jacket off his shoulders. “Good and getting better by the second.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Andrés says as he leads the way into their room.

They both stop when their eyes land on the bed. Berlin is curled up in the very centre, still wearing his bat wings, fast asleep.

Andrés sighs. “You’re not going to let me move him, are you?”

“It would be cruel to,” Martín says, already taking pictures of Berlin with his phone.

“You’re the bane of my existence,” Andrés tells the cat, just a shade too fondly to be taken seriously.

Martín laughs. “You know you love him almost more than I do.”

Andrés grumbles, but doesn’t disagree. Martín eyes him as he starts to undress himself.

“You know,” he says slyly. “I think I might need to wash properly to get this fake blood off. And you know how Berlin feels about showers.”

“I always thought I’d look better wearing a suit in a shower than Daniel Craig,” Andrés says, already following Martín into the bathroom.

He shoots Berlin a warning look over his shoulder. For his part, Berlin just yawns and shifts on the bed so that his butt is facing the bathroom. Andrés rolls his eyes and shuts the door firmly, hoping it will prevent any further interruptions.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked this heap of ridiculous fluff! (idk if you care but [this](https://www.amazon.com/Malier-Thanksgiving-Costume-Cats-Wings/dp/B07GWCTLCY) is what i imagine berlin looked like)
> 
> if you liked it, i'd love if you left kudos or a comment. as always you can come scream at me on tumblr ([@hefellfordean](https://hefellfordean.tumblr.com)) or twitter ([@angstypalermo](https://twitter.com/angstypalermo)) if you like


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